If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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