That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I have already put on my inside pants.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize