u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think my nap took me to another dimension
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"