the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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