Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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