We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize