apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?