Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.