dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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