hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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