If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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