Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
