I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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