i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
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how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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