when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
