I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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