Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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