guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
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I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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