I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
