I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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