is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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