Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
