I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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