Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?