i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum