Have you finally orgasmed yet?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays