Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(516): View more from New York

what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(516): what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina http://tfl.nu/zqnz

Replies (92) Good night (1067) Bad night (5378) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(905): View more from Toronto

I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(905): I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater http://tfl.nu/5s3p

Replies (19) Good night (832) Bad night (3188) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(734): View more from Michigan

So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

(810): View more from Michigan

You're 20.

(734): View more from Michigan

IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt

Replies (148) Good night (11272) Bad night (2030)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it

(1-617): View more from Massachusetts

only you. it could only happen to you.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it (1-617): only you. it could only happen to you. http://tfl.nu/wr6i

Replies (32) Good night (1070) Bad night (4447)
Favorite
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(724): dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....? http://tfl.nu/b2i2

Replies (22) Good night (950) Bad night (10613) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(615): View more from Tennessee

Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(615): Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing" http://tfl.nu/ru0o

Replies (7) Good night (3925) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(814): No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/k4yz

Replies (4) Good night (4509) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(504): View more from Louisiana

Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(504): Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself. http://tfl.nu/n9ey

Replies (9) Good night (929) Bad night (2714) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(843): View more from South Carolina

Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(843): Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW. http://tfl.nu/o3ak

Replies (9) Good night (3650) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(519): View more from Ontario

He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(519): He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him? http://tfl.nu/ad81

Replies (5) Good night (3129) Bad night (739) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(201): View more from New Jersey

My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(201): My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now. http://tfl.nu/1l2n

Replies (8) Good night (1799) Bad night (1187) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy. http://tfl.nu/7tra

Replies (21) Good night (498) Bad night (1454) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(774): View more from Massachusetts

Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(774): Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap http://tfl.nu/vchr

Replies (3) Good night (1126) Bad night (301)
Favorite
(417): View more from Missouri

Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(417): Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week. http://tfl.nu/s5do

Replies (1) Good night (479) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
Favorite
(815): View more from Illinois

She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(815): She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper? http://tfl.nu/3fdw

Replies (3) Good night (764) Bad night (257) Order T-Shirt

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: