used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.