Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I touched a dick in church today
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize