Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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