Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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