His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
