some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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