everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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