If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize