marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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