I cannot find my penis.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
