I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize