So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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