new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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