i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize