have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
