I wanna bring you to show and tell
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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