Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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