At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
