We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize