I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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