Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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