john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.