Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
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Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
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You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?