Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I cannot find my penis.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class