I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Floor bacon is actually really good
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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