I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis