It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.