I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation