I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize