Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize