Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
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My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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