my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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