will power is for people who don't want to get laid
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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